Thursday, 15 December 2011

My Loved and My Loathed

Thursday December 15th, 2011; 14:57
Location: Ubud, Bali Indonesia
Why: More complicated beatings of my heart.

It is December 2011. I met you 13 years ago this month. An unaffected free spirit who left a burning desire in the depths of my being. You, always on the brink of being attainable if only for brief moments in our seemingly separate worlds. I knew you were dangerous for me. Like a drug I should stay away from. For if I had even a taste, I would want more.

And throughout the years, I took little bites. You always gave me just enough. A flower picked from your travels. Random late night calls which left that same burning desire. I always wanted more.

Then I found myself next to you half way across the country. The Universe had offered me the forbidden fruit. Suddenly it was abundantly available. And I knew it was dangerous. I didn't care. I needed my fix.

You were my muse and my admired. A molotov cocktail of all things good and bad. And I too, was your drug of choice. I felt it through your eyes.

All I pursued was inspired by your presence. You were my lover and my loathed. I loved you so much it was blissful. I loathed you so much it hurt.

You were my best friend and my arch nemesis. I revealed everything and nothing to you.

And while I am half way around the world, I find myself free from you but still addicted. You were that forbidden fruit and I knew better. I bit anyway.